Baraat

Kelsey Breseman
4 min readOct 8, 2022
Photo by Teri Fields Matsen

In an Indian wedding, the sisters of the bride traditionally make a lot of trouble for the groom. I like Gautam. We have enough rapport that I already know he’ll be game — so I’m all in.

My understanding is, the parents are negotiating the wedding, the bride’s brothers are making sure he’s able to provide, but the sisters — they’re making him pay for taking the bride away from them.

Literally, according to my informants.

Throughout the wedding events, I’ve been dancing, meeting new relatives, generally joining in. When they find out I’m the sister of the bride, cousins and aunts pull me aside:

“Do you know, you are supposed to steal the shoes.”

There are official roles for the bride’s sister — tying together the scarves of the bride and groom at the altar, for example — but it’s clear that this is the role everybody is excited about.

The way it works is, the groom processes up the street — the Baraat — to the entrance of the bride’s home (or in this case, the hotel). The sisters block the way with a ribbon until he pays an extortionate sum. Then he meets the bride — she has her own procession — and they go up to the Pheras. They have to take their shoes off to enter the sacred space and get officially married (there is a priest, and a fire, and involvement from both sides’ parents and siblings). But by…

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Kelsey Breseman
Kelsey Breseman

Written by Kelsey Breseman

An adventurer, engineer, indigenous Alaskan writing the nitty gritty. See my recent posts for free on Substack: https://ifoundtheme.substack.com/

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